Abra / Cadabra
The story you tell yourself
is the story the world
tells back to you.
The legend says Abracadabra means: I create as I speak. Two syllables, one breath. Abra is the story inside. Cadabra is the story you speak out loud. The order is the teaching. Inside first. Then out.
I spent thirty years exhaling only. All Cadabra, no Abra. Waiting for the world to tell me who I was, then repeating whatever it said. That's the loop. Every addiction lives in it.
My job is to help you get back to the one telling the story.
For the ones who don't quite fit
You're not broken.
You're just tired of pretending.
You expanded. You came back. And there's nobody to tell. The ceremony had a host. The after has nobody. That's who I'm here for.
Tired of the shame around what you use to feel something. Tired of hiding the parts that woke you up. Tired of being the most aware person in the room and the loneliest.
Good. That's the beginning.
The map I use
Four parts. Four stories.
Body. Mind. Heart. Spirit.
One story about your power, one about yourself, one about other people, one about the mystery.
Each one is either Cadabra only — all exhale, rented from the world — or Abra first: you say it inside, then the world says it back.
Body.
Recover Powerthe here-and-now story
- Cadabra only
- you hand your aliveness to substances, screens, the couch.
- Abra first
- you feel it in the body first. Then you move.
Mind.
Recover Storythe self story
- Cadabra only
- you live a story someone else wrote to help you fit in.
- Abra first
- you write it inside first. Then you speak it out.
Heart.
Recover Lovethe others story
- Cadabra only
- you wait for someone out there to rule on your worth.
- Abra first
- you say it to yourself first. Then you give it away.
Spirit.
Recover Playfulnessthe mystery story
- Cadabra only
- you outsource the mystery to gurus, dogma, shortcuts.
- Abra first
- you meet it inside first. Then you play with it out here.
the fifth relationship
The Center. The breath.
Abra on the in-breath. Cadabra on the out-breath. The four stories play on the rim. The center is the one breathing them. You can't say a word on the inhale — the body already knows the order. Inside first. Then out.
It's the hardest work I've ever done.
Which one is running you?
The arc
Four acts.
Every relationship moves through the same four stages. You are not stuck. You are just somewhere on the map.
Act 1 · Forgetting.
You learned to fit in. It cost you the truth. This is where the pattern starts.
Act 2 · Seeking.
You look for the fix out there. Money, love, highs, answers. Nothing out there is the fix.
Act 3 · Autocorrect.
Life turns you around. Something breaks or wakes you up. The grip loosens.
Act 4 · Remembering.
You remember what was already there. And you choose it this time.
Which act are you in right now?
Nobody ordained me.
I have a record.
Thirty years, four industries, every altar in America. Dot-com, then real estate. Then the law-of-attraction crowd. Then the medicine: I trained as a facilitator and I ran the ceremonies.
Thirty years outsourcing my own magic to a substance, to a story, to God, to money. All Cadabra, no Abra.
The thing that qualifies me is the thing that disqualified me. I "failed" at every attempt to outsource my magic: to a substance, to a story, to God, to money, to a title. I never failed at being a shaman. I failed at pretending the answer could live outside me. That's not the disclaimer. That's the resume.
You don't need a teacher who never fell. You need one who knows the way back because he crawled it.
Blessings
One sentence.
Take whichever one is yours.
Not advice. Not a prediction. Just something true said out loud so you don't have to say it alone.
- You are not behind. You are early, and you are scared.
- The thing you keep almost saying is the thing.
- You did not lose those years. You were in them.
- You are not too much. You are unaccompanied.
- You are not failing. You are between two stories.
- You are not lost. You are unfinished, and that is different.
- The part of you that is tired is the part that was working.
- You are not the story. You are the one telling it.
The book · the series · the proof
Very High Priest.
Remembering Who I Am.
Very High Priest is the true story behind the map. A man who built a spiritual empire, burned it down, and had to remember who he was.
It's about what happens when devotion and addiction look the same — and what it costs to tell the truth about it.
"Breaking Bad meets Shtisel."
In development as a 12-episode series. Registered with the WGA. A new edition is being rewritten with readers; the original is offline while it takes shape.
Read the serialization for free before it hits the printer.
Start here
Two questions.
Which part is making the noise?
Where are you on the map?
Send me a voice note with your two answers.
I'll do a flash reading: what's going on, which part to fix first, and what to do next.
@oriya.live